The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt, The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the Gods such vicious cunts?Where is the God of tits and wine?
Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?
Janos Slynt- I won't have my honor questioned by an imp!
Tyrion - I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.
I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things.
Cersei:"You are a clever man, but you're not half as clever as you think you are".
Tyrion:"Still makes me more clever than you".
Jon Snow:What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion:All dwarves are bastards in their fathers' eyes.
Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
When you tear out a man's tongue, it's not proving that he is a liar; You are only telling the world that you are afraid what he might say.
Far too much has been written about great men, and not nearly enough about morons.
It's not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it.
Tyrion Lannister : Father , I wish ... to confess.
Tywin Lannister : You wish to confess ?
Tyrion Lannister : < Turns to the crowd > I saved you. I saved this city. And all your worthless lives. I should have let Stannis kill you all.
Tywin Lannister : Tyrion. Do you wish to confess?
Tyrion Lannister : Yes, Father. I'm guilty. Guilty, is that what you want to hear?
Tywin Lannister : You admit you poisoned the king?
Tyrion Lannister : No, of that I'm innocent. I'm guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I am guilty of being a dwarf.
Tywin Lannister : You are not on trial for being a dwarf.
Tyrion Lannister : Oh, yes, I am. I've been on trial for that my entire life.
Tywin Lannister : Have you nothing to say in your defense?
Tyrion Lannister : Nothing but this - I did not do it <smiles> , I did not kill Joffrey! But I wish that I had.
< Turns to Cersei > Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than 1,000 lying hores. I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.
< Tywin Lannister calls for Ser Meryn > escort the prisoner back to his cell.
Tyrion Lannister : I will not give my life for Joffrey's murder. And I know I'll get no justice here. So I will let the gods decide my fate.I demand trial by combat.
Varys: Cersei wants your head.
Imp: Then she ought to offer her cunt. The best part of hers for best part of me.
Daenerys: Lannister, Targaryen, Baratheon, Stark, Tyrell...They're all just spokes on a wheel. This one's on top, then that's one's on top. And on and on it spins, crushing those on the grounds.
Imp:It's a beautiful dream, stopping this wheel.